Why is how often to have sex the wrong question?

This entry describes the question of how often a couple should have sex as a number that hides the real subjects, including desire, refusal, illness, resentment, and whether either person can say no. It notes that a frequency taken from friends or from a headline is not a measure of the marriage, and that the useful talk is about what sex is for these two people.

What this entry does not do

It does not name a normal frequency, does not prescribe techniques, and does not replace the entry on a mismatch in sexual desire.