Why Does He Do That?

What it is about

Why Does He Do That? is Lundy Bancroft’s description of controlling and abusive behaviour in intimate relationships. It is included so jealousy, entitlement, and control can be told apart from ordinary conflict and so readers stop explaining abuse as a communication style. Bancroft writes from work with abusive men and with survivors; the focus is recognition and safety thinking, not couples negotiation while control is active. The book is not couples therapy for mutual problems and not a promise that insight alone reforms an abuser.

Questions it can answer

• How does Bancroft distinguish controlling abuse from ordinary conflict?
• Why should jealousy and entitlement not be explained away as a mere communication style?
• What recognition and safety thinking does the book prioritise over joint negotiation while control is active?

What you will not find

• A couples workbook meant to be done together with an abusive partner
• Legal representation or police procedure for every jurisdiction
• A guarantee that confronting the abuser with the book will create change