We Do: Saying Yes to a Relationship of Depth, True Connection, and Enduring Love

What it is about

We Do is a shorter Tatkin book about the agreements two people make when they decide to be each other’s primary person, not only to feel close for a season. Secure functioning here is a social contract: shared power, fairness, and mutual protection, stated as what this pair will and will not do. The couple is asked to build a boundary around the bond and to treat one another as people already in each other’s care. It is about the yes, and the terms of the yes, not a wedding manual and not a survey of every later conflict.

Questions it can answer

• What agreements does Tatkin think belong to the decision to be each other’s primary person?
• How is a couple boundary different from a private feeling of closeness?
• What does being in each other’s care ask for before a specific fight has started?

What you will not find

• Wedding etiquette, guest lists, or legal forms
• A claim that feeling close for a season is the same as the contract
• The full conflict catalog of his later care book