The All-or-Nothing Marriage

What it is about

Eli Finkel, a social psychologist, describes a historical climb in what spouses expect from marriage: from economic survival, to companionship, to self-expression. The All-or-Nothing Marriage argues that those higher expectations can make a marriage better when time, skill, and attention are actually supplied, and harsher when they are not. The book is an account of the demand, not a promise that every couple should lower or raise it.

Questions it can answer

• Why can a marriage feel both freer and more disappointing than earlier models?
• What resources does a high-expectation marriage actually consume?
• How does the book separate a mountaintop marriage from an average one without calling the average a failure?

What you will not find

• A seven-step program with weekly homework as the core
• A verdict on whether to have children
• Case law on divorce