Eight Dates

What it is about

Eight Dates is a conversation book by John Gottman, Julie Schwartz Gottman, Doug Abrams, and Rachel Carlton Abrams: eight scheduled talks on trust and commitment, conflict, sex, money and work, family, fun, growth, and dreams. It comes after The Seven Principles has already named the research frame, and it gives a couple a time and a topic so that those subjects are not left to the moment when something is already on fire. The dates assume both people can sit and speak without fear. They are not a second copy of the principles, and they are not a claim that eight evenings will carry a marriage by themselves.

Questions it can answer

• Which subjects do the eight dates set aside time to talk about?
• How is a scheduled conversation different from talking only when a fight has already started?
• What does this book assume has already been named by The Seven Principles?

What you will not find

• The research frame of the seven principles, restated as a second copy
• A restaurant guide, or a guarantee that eight evenings will carry the marriage
• A first step for a relationship in which one person is afraid, coerced, or unsafe