Take Back Your Marriage

What it is about

William Doherty’s Take Back Your Marriage argues that a marriage can be eroded by consumer habits: leaving when the feelings drop, treating the spouse as a service provider, and letting other institutions—work, children’s schedules, therapists, even well-meaning helpers—take the couple’s decisions. He describes the marriage as something the two people have to intend, schedule, and defend. The first edition is 2001; a second edition appeared later. This guide follows the argument, not a feeling thermometer.

Questions it can answer

• How can a marriage lose ground to work and children’s schedules without a dramatic fight?
• What does Doherty mean by a consumer stance toward a spouse?
• What kinds of outside help does he think can take a couple’s decisions away from them?

What you will not find

• A claim that all unhappiness should be endured
• A safety plan for coercive control
• A scoring system for communication micro-behaviours