The Course of Love

What it is about

The Course of Love is a novel that follows one couple from first idealisation through marriage, children, sulk, and affair, with short essays set into the story. De Botton’s subject is what remains to be learned after the wedding: compatibility as a task, the use of the partner as a screen for childhood, and the difference between being loved as an idea and being known as a person. It is fiction with commentary, not a study or a workbook.

Questions it can answer

• What kinds of disappointment tend to arrive after a couple has chosen each other?
• How can a partner be used as a stand-in for an older family story?
• What does the book treat as the work of staying, rather than the work of choosing?

What you will not find

• Research findings or clinical protocols
• A model couple to imitate point for point
• Advice that an affair is a solution